Saturday, July 5, 2008

From the brink of disaster to paradise-Day 4 Closure Begins(Eric Staal)

Drip, Drip, Drip…

The rain just makes my day even worse. Today is my baby’s funeral. I bought an entire box of tissues just for the service and another for the burial. I got up around 8 for the 10 o’clock service. I quietly showered and got dresses purposely not wearing a lot of makeup.

Coming home that first night was especially hard. My baby’s stuff scattered around the apartment. From bottles to diapers I was totally ready. Now it is just staring me back in my face and laughing. I can’t stand to go anywhere near the room I had designated as the nursery.

We're asking why this happens to us Who have died to live, it's unfair(Natalie Grant-Held)

The church service was amazing. The sermon was beautiful. The only bad thing is that it truly showed me how much I lost when I got pregnant. It was very lonely. We drove to the cemetery. I could barely see the road through my tears. As a last goodbye I took my son’s baby blanket and gently laid it over his tiny coffin. I was crying profusely. The funeral director handed me an envelope and I glanced inside. It contained a lock of his soft brown hair. As I walked away from the cemetery the sun began to peek through the clouds.

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